haix..so forget about the blog closed thing la..i realised now that my blog is really for me and me and me..not for anyone else. If ppl like to read then fine, if they dun wanna, that's oso fine, i shouldn't let all these things get in the way of how i feel. i think the only reason that i've been feeling like shit for so long is becos i've been letting the slightest things bother me. i seriously need help.
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i feel so lost.
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i feel so alone.
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i need a miracle.
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i need...*you**
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so yeah. i came across this poem which really hit me hard. it's about child abuse..DUH..it's so obvious, u must be dumb not to discover it. so yeah, i'm not of course an abuse child, but still, i think it's soooo sad that these things happen. it's like that book i just read, 'the child called it'. i just dun understand why there are such ppl out there.
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i'll make a promise to myself and to god. if i grow up to be rich and famous and can roll around in money, i'll definitely be one of those charity supporters. u noe how some artists and celebs support their own charities. i'll be one of those ppl. mebe i'll volunteer to help them literally when i retire instead of just donating.
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even if i'm not rich, which would be a sad thing, since i'm addicted to nice stuff, i must make it a point to donate whatever i can.
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that's a promise.
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so anyway, here's the poem i was talking about. read it. absorb it. dwell on it. really think about it. and i hope that it moves you off a cliff, or at least gives u a little nudge.
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*~*~*Sarah*~*~*
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My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long.
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight.
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me.
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heart wrenching
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isn't it?
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