i realised something...having a diary online is just not enough, cos at this age, u have so many feelings, emotions, thoughts, that u just can't express on the internet. the internet is like such an open, impersonal place for such stuff, so i have decided to have a written diary, seriously this time, only writing in it when i'm really feeling down or troubled. u noe, i think writing down ur thoughts can really help, i mean, thinking it may not always be enough, u need to get it out someway or another, and writing is a good start i feel, and healthier too, so u won't start cutting urself or banging ur head on the wall till it bleeds. i must admit, that there were times that i felt like doing just that, but im not stupid, plus, i'm allergic to pain.
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it would be kinda cool too, to read back on ur past like 40 years from now, seeing what a screwed up, twisted teenager u were, yupp, it would be cool.
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so right now, i really regret sitting in the sun so long without protection [u noe what i mean be protection rite], cos even though i'm nice and golden brown, the skin on my face is starting to peel!!! EEEEEEEEKSSS!!! that totally sucks!!! i'm not used to seeing loose flappy skin sticking out like grass on my face. it's just AWFUL!!! my face is ruined! RUINED!!! and i've got a shitty pimple on my cheek. THAT SUCKS!!! I"m not used to flaws on my face!!! i can't stand flaws!!! IT DISGUSTS ME!!!
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so i'm vain. bleah.
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yeap, today mrs lee gave us lecture on how we're the shittiest batch of sec 4s so far...and how lazy we are bla bla bla..then in the faternoon, got back more results. i haven't failed anything so far..thank god!!! but i must say, my results are still quite shitty la...lotsa Cs, some Bs, only one A...bah..fer art, but that's not counted cos u CANNOT and i repeat - CANNOT rely on mr leow for SHIT!!! it's the truth, he's absolutely useless, as in useful fer nuts.
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so well, u'd think that by now, i;d feel some sort of urgency for the extremely nearing chinese Os...but...no..not yet..i dunno if i'll EVER fell the urgency, maybe the night b4. Bah!!! god help me.
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