i'm still so miserable...just wanna scream!!! stretch my hair!!! get out of this damned place!!! there's a constant ache in my heart..even when i'm not really focusing on the pain...i noe it's there..it's always there. all the memories...history..as my mum puts it...i have to put the past behind me. but for now...it still lingers in my heart..and it's quite unbearable.
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i miss them so much...
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a sad woman should never be left alone with her thoughts. it swallows her..engulfs..chews on her aching soul. listening to some sobby music yesterday and picked up a picture of my cuz and me..i mean it's not like he died or anything..but i just started to cry. coz i miss him soooo much...just couldn't figure a way out..a way to somehow ease the pain u noe...i tried writin gin my journal..but it wasn't much help..i still got up this morning thinking how at this time yesterday...they were still here...all morning..as i looked at the time..i thought bout what we were doing this time yesterday..or this time last week. at this time...we were hugging and saying goodbye or at this time we were in langkawi, packing, getting ready to leave. at this time 3 weeks ago..they would have just arrived.
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there is no real way to get rid of the pain..one can only hope that time will heal...time will patch up the hole..
<-- yesterday or
tomorrow -->
